Dr. Eban speaks of unconditional love…


Currently, independence does not seem like something to simply aspire for, but for many the only way to be. While independence is beautiful within itself, so is the concept of togetherness. As gay black men, we are faced with many gut-wrenching challenges.

From the acceptance of our family and peers, to how we go about navigating our relationships; and for others, we may share the concern of our independence being stripped the moment we latch onto our “ball and chain”. However, let us consider the notion that independence is not something that is stripped when together with someone, but something we can share with them. In other words, bring them into our world and share

that very world with them.

Consider your life as a one big completed puzzle.

Whereby yourself (your puzzle) has already completed, which any other piece added on is a piece that is extra. While the extra piece may not necessarily be needed; it can however always add but can never take away from the puzzle that is already complete. Therefore, it is important to look at how the relationship and love we share with another man can only add and enrich our lives.

We do not necessarily view these relationships as you are being enthralled in someone else’s world, but someone else coming into ours. Which allows you to become this tour guide that will navigate through the many adventures shared.

When love is done right it is always beautiful and just as the famous classic TV show “many splendid things”. In a truly healthy relationship were never truly “giving something up”, but instead sharing the very essence of who we are as individuals with them. As the adage goes, “None of the things in our lives really hold true value, until we’re given the opportunity to share them with the ones we love.”

Together we’ll share experiences, memories or even a travel destination or two. Let’s also not forget the different phases you will both go through together in life. The best part is to have someone right by your side to go and grow through them with you. How solid can any relationship be without a trial or two to solidify how solid it really is? With anything in life, something can only be proven when tested.

For those in long-lasting relationships, take the time to consider what new things or experience you can share with your significant other. Look for new ways to invite them into your world. You can let them know about your interests, maybe plan a trip for a romantic getaway experience you two can share together. As most couples grow closer together when they do and experience more together.




And for the new couples just building and getting into the groove of things, think of new ways to express who you are along with your interests to your new significant other.

Now while being alone is sometimes essential to our growth, we must remember no one gets to where they want to be in life on their own. The doctor is in and I am ordering a prescription of togetherness. Your heat should feel better and so should you!

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