THE MESSY TIDBITS OF LIFE
t happened and I never thought it would. This weekend past, a 6 month old girl named Ana managed to turn my world upside down.
Years ago, I made friends with two awesome women (Betsy and MC) who both live in Charleston, SC. We are all older now, married with children but we’ve managed to maintain our friendship over the years. We find time to pull our families together to celebrate a holiday together and this year it was July 4th weekend. Well, MC and her husband recently had a baby girl named Ana…and from the time I met her on Saturday morning (she was asleep when I arrived on Friday), I was hooded.
Ana has the easiest temperament. She has the cutest brown eyes and the most gorgeous laugh. Her smile just makes you feel happy to know that she is happy. She also has that adorable baby smell.
You can tell that she is loved and full of trust as she sat with me, allowed me to feed her, and even fell asleep in my arms. Rocking her and watching her sleep in my arms made me melt. Her mother once said after Ana fell asleep “you can put her in her bed” and my mind asked why? Several times I had to force myself to let her parents have access to her for fear they would think I was crazy.
She had me cooing all weekend long. I finally understood why my male friends can never say no to their daughters. I was astounded my Ana.
Each morning of my visit, I would wake and the first thing I would want to do is see how Ana was doing. I’d play with her until her mother would take pity on me and say “you can pick her up.” Then I would grab in my arms and start talking to her. I’d tune out all the conversation around me and Ana and I would be in our own world in front of everyone. We’d walk around, we’d dance in the middle of the family room, we’d look at ourselves in the mirrors, look out the windows, grab a seat on the porch, etc. while I narrated everything around us to her.
Leaving to come home was hard because I didn’t want to say goodbye.
Now that I am back home, my sons tell me I have a “crush” on Ana. My husband says he’s concerned because I am having Ana withdrawl. I went to work and showed my colleagues the pictures I took with my Ana. They laughed to see me head over heels for a little baby. I think the sun rises and sets on her.
So why don’t I have another baby you say? Well, I am content with the two boys God has blessed me with. When I look at them, I know that God does answer prayers for they really are everything I’ve asked for.
But then I ask myself…do I want a daughter? Do I want another baby?